By Muthoni Maina, Guest on Episode #35 and Author, Leaves of May

Of Homelands

Or the other question in the same vein is, ‘Ushago kwenu ni wapi?’ When you answer that you don’t know or don’t have one, this is met with an assumption that you are too proud to go to shags, which couldn’t be further from the truth because I actually prefer the country. This is where history comes in, a lot of young Kenyans don’t seek out the knowledge of the past to try and understand the present. The reality is, most Kikuyus were displaced from the highlands and they settled in Nairobi. So the next time you may ask someone that question and you get an answer, try and take that answer with a little sensitivity.

Of History and Humility

Conducting research and writing my book The Leaves of May, which had to encompass three different generations gave me a strong sense of humility and appreciation for those who paved the way for us to be born, to go to school, to write and even political participation. For me, history is my source of inspiration that lets my imagination run wild. It also humbles me deeply because it allows me to see how utterly insignificant I am in the wider context, so I try to live my life aware of that fact.

Of Wholesome Vanilla Mothers

My mother raised me to be a lady, which means she insisted that I don’t use words like fuck or shit. I call her a wholesome vanilla lady. This is what she said when I asked her why she insisted that I don’t swear. ‘Uncouth or foul language is not good for anyone – it’s good to bring up children who can make a difference in society and who are sensitive to other people’s feelings and emotions.  A well-brought child will not use the so-called “swear words”.’

Of Beatings and Corporal Punishments

School, all I can say is that aside from your parents they are the ones instrumental in shaping and nurturing you into the person you will become. We talked about corporal punishment in schools and I still bear the marks from a beating I got in class five. Kamande talks about one of his teachers who he called an innovator in punishment because of the different and creative ways he learnt to inflict torture on the kids.

Of Taking Children Seriously

It’s important to take children seriously and I can relate a lot to that because of the confusion and distress my father’s absence had on me. My aunt was the grownup who was able to come to my level and talk to me about it, and all I needed to hear was, ‘He is not coming back.’

Of Absent Fathers and the trap of dwelling in negativity

I know all too well how easy it is to fall into the negativity of an absent father, to dwell on the betrayal and hurt. It is much more difficult to take the path to forgiveness, acceptance and healing and that is the path I have decided to take.

Of Amber Alerts and Red Flags in Relationships

Learn not to ignore ‘amber’ alerts before they turn into red flags and you could end up in a relationship headed to marriage that would completely wreck you emotionally and psychologically.

Of the veneer of culture, religion and church folks

How do you deal with the ‘emotional vampires’ who hide behind culture and religion in order to express their superiority and bias? They are the ones who come faithfully to church every Sunday, they are the ones who are the heads of all the ministries but when you look behind the curtain, it is hard to recognise the values they profess.

Firstly, by using those experiences and using them to write your novel. The Munonzani are inspired by real people and real events that happened and my book wouldn’t be the same without them. Secondly, find a deeper connection to your creator and not let the outside piety deter you from finding that deep and personal relationship for yourself.

Of Creation versus Criticism

I often get asked, when did you start writing or when did you know that you were a storyteller? Even days after I kept thinking about this question and I realised that we had always been storytellers. The medium is what keeps changing but not the message. Whether it’s around a fire, over a book or cell phone stories will always be told.

With criticism, I always think of what Teddy Roosevelt said about the man in the arena. ‘It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming.’ 

If there is something I can say about being in the Busy Being Born podcast it is that I was extremely candid and honest. But it was a space to talk and open up and talk about the transitional moments in my life and I responded to the questions with raw honesty and colour my answers with my feelings about events in my life.

We talk about why it is important to take children seriously because mixed messages and a lack of direction can be more harmful than good and the importance of strong female and male figures in your life.

I grew up around nature, trees, a small seasonal river and dogs. Dogs, books and on occasion comic books were my escape and I loved living in the fantastical worlds I found there. Listen to me abuse the word yo, like I’m Kendall Roy about to take over Waystar Royco and also the number of times I say… why though and I noticed that I have a voice when I quote my mother, and that’s her voice in my head. As my new favourite poet, Nzilani Kyale’s beautiful poetry anthology Oddball, I feel like an oddball among oddballs and I still struggle trying to fit in and feel like I belong.

As I head out to shoot my podcast episode for Busy Being Born, I am picked up by Jacky,  a pretty and charming actress because I like to say that I have ‘direction stupidity’. We go to the studio and I’m late because I got lost, Jacky motions for me to sit because the guys are still recording. I love the space instantly, I snoop looking at the bookshelf, Abu the host has some old Readers Digests magazines bound, I would later find out that they belonged to his grandfather and it would make me wish I took better care of the books that I had as a child. The house is beautiful, the home of an artist and I see a large poster of ‘Too early for Birds’ and Abu would later describe himself as a renaissance man.

They finish their first recording and we can talk. Abu has laid out quite a spread, there is coffee, tea, water, groundnuts, cookies and those sweet oranges that were in season – pixies. I love the bright yellow couch and the plants around me, and I call Abu a plant dad. I sit down while they are preparing for my session and we talk about suffering. Abu doesn’t like that word and we go back and forth, talking about how Buddha lived sheltered and when he left the palace and witnessed the suffering of the world, leading him to the path of enlightenment. The podcast starts.