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Vipassana; Refined like gold

A few years ago, my world felt as if it had been shattered beyond repair. It wasn’t dramatic or loud; just a quiet, hollow moment. I lost someone dear to me. A person I had shaped myself around, someone whose presence had anchored me in ways I hadn’t even realized until they were gone. The grief wasn’t just sorrow, it was a kind of disorientation, like I’d lost my bearing. It was thick and unrelenting, yet so quiet. I felt like I had lost a part of myself, as though a piece of my soul had been misplaced, stolen away by time and circumstance. It wasn’t just the absence of them. It was the absence of me; the “me” I knew in connection to them. It felt like standing in a house where every window and door had been left open, and all the warmth had escaped. And I was left cold and alone, just me, myself and I. I would stand in the shower and cry, not just with sadness but with frustration at how trapped I felt in this endless loop of sorrow.

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Etched in Ink, Realized in Experience

A few years ago, my world felt as if it had been shattered beyond repair. It wasn’t dramatic or loud; just a quiet, hollow moment. I lost someone dear to me. A person I had shaped myself around, someone whose presence had anchored me in ways I hadn’t even realized until they were gone. The grief wasn’t just sorrow, it was a kind of disorientation, like I’d lost my bearing. It was thick and unrelenting, yet so quiet. I felt like I had lost a part of myself, as though a piece of my soul had been misplaced, stolen away by time and circumstance. It wasn’t just the absence of them. It was the absence of me; the “me” I knew in connection to them. It felt like standing in a house where every window and door had been left open, and all the warmth had escaped. And I was left cold and alone, just me, myself and I. I would stand in the shower and cry, not just with sadness but with frustration at how trapped I felt in this endless loop of sorrow.

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35; Adios Youth, Hello Enlightenment.

By Kamande Kigondu and I turned 35 this weekend, and while he was busy on stage performing the magnificent Lwanda Otero, I was wrapping up a meditation retreat. We are grateful for yet another year to make progress and to stay busy being born! Turning 35 is especially interesting for two reasons, it occurred to…

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True peace is only here, now

By Kamande. The constant hum of worry, a familiar tune, threatening to drown out the melody of life. A good part of my disposition has been worrying, and doing so with such potency that it is borderline debilitating. The constant hum of worry, a familiar tune, threatening to drown out the melody of life. This…

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My Vipassana experience: are you willing to let go of how you think it should happen?

I started practicing yoga and meditation in 2020. Slowly by slowly my inner situation started improving. I became happy and at peace for absolutely no reason. I started to become meditative, grateful, and at ease within myself. I was lost and confused, but I appreciated that state, because somehow I was at peace with the confusion and found it necessary for my growth.

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The Seduction of Anger

By Kamande. Image by Conrad Whitaker. Anger, with its poisoned root and honeyed tip. Anger is an emotion that mostly comes from the feeling of being right and others being wrong. It is clearly borne out of wanting things to be different than they are/were. I cannot say that I have had to deal with…

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